In terms of my actual research, this trip has been a huge success. The CU papers have had some of the key missing bits that I needed--grantee selection guidelines, BFS membership info, trip reports, etc. The interviews were brilliant. Both Prof. Woods & Prof Purvis were so interesting to talk with, and I know the material will be useful. Mostly, though, it was just really good to practice interviewing and to realise that it was easier than I'd expected. This trip's been another confidence boost, just when I needed it.
In terms of all of my personal issues about the area, the trip has been very difficult. I still feel very guilty for being here and not seeing my dad--but if I did see him, that would cause even more problems. Still, I've made a bit of an effort to see the area where my family used to live. On Sunday, when the archives were closed, I drove over to Siloam Springs, the birthplace that I don't remember. It was just one disappointment after another. I'd planned to have lunch at Taco Tico, a Mexican fast food place that my family loved. Apparently my mom used to crave it when she was pregnant with me, a fact that I've always thought was related to my Spanish fluency. When I got there, though, it was closed--permanently closed, for not paying its sales tax. Plan B was to go to a cute little old drive-in that my sister told me about, Barnett's Dairyette. It was closed on weekends. I gave up on the food front and decided to just see the hospital where I was born and then head out of town. When I went around the corner, I saw that it's in the process of being torn down. It was so sad to see it like that, half rubble and dilapidated.
It's been difficult, being alone in a place that I've been raised to dislike. At least my work is going well. Just 2 more days to go...
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